Just Brow-sing

A little while ago, Debbie - who is married to one of my brother's friends - contacted me and offered to 'tattoo' my eyebrows - at no cost! When I say tattoo I mean what is called semi permanent make up. What with chemo and surgery, I wasn't able to take up her offer until recently. So a couple of weeks ago I went to Debbie's clinic in Doncaster, South Yorkshire to have my brows done.

I cannot recommend Debbie highly enough. She is absolutely lovely and incredibly skilled. The whole process took about three hours, which included about 45 minutes of drawing the brows on beforehand as Debbie does them freehand rather than using stencils. That coupled with her hair stroke technique results in a very natural effect. Debbie also spends time choosing the right colour for your skin tone and the right brow shape to suit your face. I went for a slightly thicker arch which gives a kind of face lift effect.

Here was the result a day or two after:

Debbie uses a two or three step approach. As she said to me, you can add colour but you can't take it away! Its better to be cautious with the colour than ending up with very bold brows that don't really fit your face. You could end up looking like this:

No one wants that.....

Debbie will be adding a little more colour to mine a few weeks once they have settled down.

Here is are my brows about a week or so later:

And here they are on my face in their full glory:

The process is carried out using a small needle and 'tattoo' gun and does smart a bit but compared to having chemo and losing a breast it's nothing more than a tickle!

For all my fellow chemo girls starting out, I would highly recommend having your brows done before you start if you can afford it. I toyed with the idea but didn't go ahead and now I really wish I had. Losing my eyebrows was almost worse than losing my hair. Never underestimate the difference that your eyebrows make to your face! Make sure you chose your clinician carefully however and that you are able to see examples of their work beforehand. If you can, I would highly recommend going to see Debbie!

Although my brows are growing back now they are still quite sparse almost four months after chemotherapy finished and I was still drawing them on. Now I no longer need to bother. I have lovely perfect brows with no effort and they are still there when my make up comes off! Debbie's gesture was so generous and has helped to increase my confidence in my appearance at a time when it was collapsed on the floor unconscious and I can't thank her enough.

More information about Debbie's clinic, treatment and prices can be found at www.thepermanentmakeup-clinic.co.uk

Hair we go again!

Whilst my friend Sarah is writing deep blog posts about the meaning of life and death I am going to write one about......eyebrows!

YES I HAVE EYEBROWS!! Kind of.

And some eyelashes.

Basically this post is just an update on the old hair situation, following on from the one I wrote in December.

I had my last chemo session on the 16th of December 2014.

So here are my EYEBROWS AND EYELASHES!!

Amazing. I still have to draw my eyebrows on as they are still quite sparse and my upper lashes are not long enough yet for me to feel comfortable going without falsies but I can now put mascara on my lower lashes. That was a momentous occasion.

And it is definitely more than I had back in December, as seen below:

My chemo induced dark circles have also improved which is a bonus!

And here is my head:

And the back...

And the side:

I've shaved it once since I finished chemo - I think probably in January.

Even though it's still not enough to go without a wig, it's a lot more than I had way back when:

Smooth! Full on cancer patient mode.

I'm still using Fast shampoo and conditioner (yes, I actually condition my fluff) and the Lush shampoo bar which is a lot easier to take on trips away and takes up a lot less room in your suit case.

Unfortunately the arrival of head and face hair has also been accompanied by that of the leg and other body hair. So it's back to the razor. When I can be bothered. 

From the real to the fake - this post leads me nicely in to one about everything I've learned about wigs. Enjoy!

Kiss and make up

Yesterday I decided I would buy myself a little post surgery treat and spent £38 on an eyeshadow palette. I think this is the most I have spent on one bit of makeup, indeed the most I have ever spent on make up at any one time. 

I bought this:

Its the Urban Decay Naked 2 palette which has lots of lovely colours inside:

It also comes with several sachets of eye shadow primer and a lovely brush. Like a proper one - not those crappy applicator thingys. 

I've always liked make up (even though I'm proper rubbish at doing it) but up until now I have never actually properly appreciated it's magic. Not fully. It turns me from from ill-looking-cancer-patient-with-generic-cancer-face to something bordering on acceptable-to-be-seen-by-the-general-public. I definitely feel a lot more confident and able to face the world after painting my face on. Anyway, I thought I would post some info about the products I tend to use daily, just in case there is an outside chance it may be useful to someone. The people who normally do stuff like this are expert make up artist persons - I am not one of them! But all the same, there may be a little nugget that a fellow chemo girl may find useful.

Here is the arsenal that I arm myself with before venturing out of the house most days:

 A motley bunch of stuff! 

Garnier 5 Second Perfect Blur Primer - I don't wear foundation and this stuff is really good at making pores and fine lines look less visible. 


No7 Beautiful Skin Dark Circle Corrector - very good at helping get rid of the steroid induced insomnia dark circles!

I also use this - No7 Instant Illusions Rapid Radiance Balm - when I can find it..... no idea where it is right now! 

Optrex Eye Revive Brightening Eye Drops - again perfect for helping to hide the effects of sleep deprivation! 

No7 Instant Radiance Under Eye Concealer in 30. A cheaper alternative to YSL Touche Eclat. 

No7 Perfect Light Pressed Powder in Dark. 

No7 Perfectly Bronzed Bronzing Pearls  

Sleek MakeUp Face Form Contouring Kit in Medium. It's made up of a contour powder, highlighter and a bronzer. I'm still trying to get the hang of using this. I'm going for Kim Kardashian although the look I quite often get is closer to that of a tub of Neapolitan Ice cream.... 

Lancome Le Crayon Sourcils in 020. I use this eyebrow pencil to draw on my brows and then seal them with a little bit of brown eyeshadow. The shadow I normally use is a Clinique one which was part of a palette - the colour is Coffee Shop. To be honest I've found this easier and a lot longer lasting than using a product such as Benefit Browzings. You can get a great effect from Browzings but I've found that it smudges really easily - on a few occasions I have been out and about and realised that my eyebrows are half way up my forehead. Not a good look! However, it could just be me that is using it incorrectly... 

No7 Stay Perfect Eyeshadow Trio in Cappuccino. 

Lancome Le Crayon Khol in 02. 

Collection 2000 Extreme 24 Hour Felt Tip Liner in Black. I use this to drawn on my lower lashes.....

Even though my eyelashes have actually started to grow back (hurrah!) they are still in the very stumpy and sparse stage so I'm still wearing false lashes. The ones I tend to use are Dimples Eyelashes in style 112 which are about £4 for two pairs from Ebay or Ardell Natural Demi Wispies - about £10 for four pairs from Ebay.

The Ardell ones don't come with glue and the glue with the Dimples ones is like water, so I use Eyelure Lashfix Adhesive instead.

I use mascara on the false lashes but at the moment it tends to be whatever I have in my make up bag - currently it is Loreal Volume Million Lashes Excess Black Mascara.

Dreamweave Lip Voltage - this is a lip plumper that actually works. However, do not buy if you have a low pain threshold. It hurts. Like, really hurts. I usually put it on whilst I do the rest of my make up, let it do it's thang and then blot off and put my lipstick on over the top.

No7 Precision Lips Pencil in Red.

Bobbi Brown Creamy Matte Lip Colour in Red Carpet.

Some of the make up items are from the amazing goody bag I received when I went on the Look Good Feel Better workshop. These workshops are provided for women with cancer and I would definitely recommend booking on to one if there is one near you.

So there is my weaponry in detail. Probably completely useless to know, but all the same. I tend to stick to the same things all the time, with a lipstick or eyeshadow change sometimes for a night out. But I've decided I want to be a bit more adventurous, hence yesterday's purchase. Start off small and all that. The next thing you know, I'll be covering myself in tattoos and running off to build wells in Africa. Watch this space.....

#christmaschemobrow

Our silliness is now an 'internet phenomenom'!

Chemobrow was started by the fantastic Sarah Perry a little while ago - we found a website full of examples of terrible eyebrows and decided to replicate the monstrosities in place of our own balding ones. Here are some of the results:

Divine I think you will agree.

Christmas Chemobrow was born the other day on the Younger Breast Cancer Network and the super talented JoJo (aka The Malignant Ginger ) created a Community Buzzfeed article about our super stunning brows and since then we've been winning the Internet! Sod Kim Kardashian - it's all about the YBCN girls.

This is only a tiny selection. Please feast your eyes on the glory that are our Christmas eyebrows - here are links to the front page Buzzfeed article, Good Housekeeping, Telegraph, Metro (which also features my mum's dog), ABC News and ITV News articles.

We even have our own hashtag! #christmaschemobrow

After a particularly rubbish few days this has cheered me up no end. Love the YBCN girls so much!

It's Not Fair (a poem)

Inspired by yesterday's hair post:

It's Not Fair

It's not fair

I have no hair

My head is fluffy

And in places tufty

Chemo has robbed me

Of my eyelash glory

My eyebrows are sparse

The drugs are an arse

There is no leg stubble

And no shaving trouble

I have very smooth pits

But such lethal tits

Cancer is shit

And I hate it

It's not fair 

I have no hair

The End

Hair today....

This is another post about hair loss - prompted by the fact my eyelashes have started to join my eyebrows at whatever holiday destination they've toddled off too. Yes, my eyelashes have booked it, packed it and f*cked off. My lovely long eyelashes have started to fall out, leaving behind short stubby things that no amount of mascara can enhance. I'm also going to illustrate this post with some photos of the hair loss, so readers as I'm sure you'll be glad to hear, there will be little less of me prattling on and more pretty (ahem) pictures instead.

I've also chosen this post to 'come out' with my baldness. Yes - I am going to post the first photo of me sans hair that I have posted outside of breast cancer forums. This is quite a big thing for me - I never go out without wearing a wig and only very privileged people (or not as the case may be) have seen me in the flesh in all my bald head glory. However, I wanted to go public with my baldness in solidarity with other chemo girls so here it goes:

 

And here is me without the make up:

 Ah the magic of the war paint eh??

I'm now three FEC chemo sessions and one Docetaxel session down. My head hair started falling out just before my second FEC, my eyebrows became very sparse about three weeks or so ago and now my eyelashes have started to do a runner. Oh, and the inside of my nose is also now hair free. Cue perpetual sniffing and carrying tissues around with me like an old woman  - although, may I add - I do not keep these up my sleeve. Not yet anyway....

Another example of the sorcery that is makeup is how well it can hide very patchy and sparse eyebrows:

This eyebrow is brought to you courtesy of Benefit Browzings. It's an eyebrow kit made up of a gel and powder and comes in three different colours. Many of the chemo girls I know find this product incredibly useful once the toxic drugs start to rob them of their eyebrows. It's also good for non-chemo girls (and boys) too I would imagine.

One situation that the warpaint is not so magic in, as I mentioned before, is enhancing the spindly spiders legs that are currently masquerading as my eyelashes. Evidence below:

Oh dear. Up close the top photo doesn't look too bad I agree. However, when you see the full picture e.g. the rest of my face, the eyelash population is quite pathetic. You can see a few of the stranglers from my former eyelash glory that are hanging on quite heroically, determined not to succumb to the chemotherapy toxins.

However, because even the world's greatest mascara can't disguise these stumpy beauties, I have invested in multiple packets of these:

Luckily Boots currently have a three for two on, so I get to stock up on eyelashes and Advantage points. Every cloud and all that.

I'm also currently creating my breast cancer birthday and chemo Christmas list. I've had a few recommendation of serums that can help to stimulate eyelash growth and hopefully bring my eyes back to their former hairiness. These include RapidLash Eyelash Enhancing Serum and Lipocils Eyelash Serum. I've also heard that Fast shampoo and conditioner may also be good for helping me look less like a potato and more like a peach. So Santa baby, if you're reading this - I've been very, very good this year (well, kind of...).