Sunday, 20 December 2015

Secret Santa xxx

On Friday I attended my fourth Christmas party of the season- my office Christmas party. Last year I attended this do feeling incredibly tired and ill and with a big fat steroid face, as it was four days after my last chemotherapy treatment. Needless to say, this year I felt a whole lot better, not least because the year previously I'd been wondering whether I would actually be alive to see this Christmas.

However, one of the main reasons for my good mood was my secret Santa gift. As well as a gorgeous silk scarf, I also received what it possibly the nicest and sweetest letter I have ever had. I still don't know who it was from, but I know the person who wrote it reads my blog because of some of the things they referenced, so I'm hoping that they see this post.

To give you an understanding of what was written in the letter, I've copied one of the paragraphs below:

'Santa respects how very brave you are but realises this can be tiring. Just remember you don't always have to be brave your friends will understand and be there to give you a hand or a shoulder to cry on when you need it. Santa can reassure you that you are not a shadow of the person you used to be. You are still beautiful, loveable and definitely not fat. So don't hate your reflection and as to the men who treat you like a leper they are fools and not worthy of you.'

To my Secret Santa - I just want to tell how much your words mean to me. I know I can come across as brash and loud sometimes, but inside I struggle. I hate the way I look right now and the limitations that cancer has placed on my life and it's very easy for me to sink in to depression. Every now and again I just need kind words and reassurance, which is exactly what you have given me. It's impossible to put in to words how important it is to me to hear comments like yours and what a difference it makes. So I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. You made my day xxxx