Wednesday, 6 May 2015

One wish

A couple of days ago I came across a video on Facebook. A social experiment in which two strangers sit on either side of a wall and are asked 'if you had one wish what would it be?'.

On one side are those that are healthy, on the other, people with cancer or their family members. The answers that they each give to this question are incredibly different. For this post to make sense to you it is necessary to watch the video rather than have me describe it. You can do this here.

This video struck an emotional cord with me. If you would have asked me this question before cancer, I would have most likely have replied in the same vein as the 'healthy' people in this video. A better job, more money, a bigger flat. Indeed, before cancer I spent a lot of time wishing that my life was different, thinking that having more of something would make me happier. Constantly searching for the one thing that I thought would bring me happiness and fulfillment.

However, the moment you are diagnosed with cancer, everything changes. Nothing else matters. Priorities and focus shifts and the world becomes a very different place. The only thing that is important is staying alive. Whether this is done with a better job, an expensive car or more possessions no longer matters. I no longer care whether I will own my house or will get a better job with a bigger salary. Yes, there are things that I would like to do but ultimately all I want is to be alive this time next year and in years to come. To continue to find joy in the smallest of things. To spend more time with my family and friends. To keep on existing and being. 

I can remember saying to a friend a month or so after I was diagnosed that the one thing I wished for most in the world at that moment was to wake up the next morning and find out I didn't have cancer anymore.

There are lots of things I would wish for right now. To not have the angry cloud of cancer and illness hovering over me. For a guarantee that the cancer is gone for good and will never come back. That this disease did not exist and my friends would not have to suffer from treatment side effects and the anxiety that comes with their secondary diagnoses. That we could be carefree and happy again. That there was a cure.

But if you asked me right now what my one wish would be, I would answer this -

For my friend to get better. 

For my beautiful, bonkers, sweet, clever, kind friend to get better.

Love you JoJo xx

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