Having cancer is shit. It sucks. The fear, the anxiety, the grueling treatment that takes away most of what you once were and leaves behind a person that you no longer recognise when you look in the mirror. The total uncertainty about the future. It brings in to question relationships and friendships and leads to disappointment and sadness as people who you thought would be there for you fade away gradually. It can be lonely, isolating and frustrating.
But it can also bring pleasant surprises. Support from people that you would never have expected it from. The strengthening of some friendships. The people that come through for you. Simple random acts of kindness that make your day. Meeting some fantastic, wonderful people.
I spent the day on Friday drinking prosecco and mulled wine and talking all things breast cancer with two wonderful ladies from the Younger Breast Cancer Network. I can't stress enough what having the support and company of people going through the same experience means. We're all members of the club that no one wants to be in. We've talked about hair loss, side effects and surgery. These ladies have made me smile and laugh at times when I just wanted curl up in a ball and cry. They've calmed me down when I've wound myself up in to a panic. They have been there day and night when I've needed someone to talk to. Its been one hell of a shit year but meeting these ladies has made it just that little bit better. Thank you cancer for bringing them in to my life.