For Claire xxx

Even though I am not the best placed person to do this, I felt I needed to write something. Yesterday we lost a beautiful bright young woman to this cruel disease - exactly one month on from her 30th birthday.

Claire was one of the first people I spoke to when I joined the Younger Breast Cancer Network and although sadly I never had the chance to meet her in person, we talked over Facebook. There are many women that I have met as part of this network that I have yet to meet in person but feel a very strong bond with due to the adversity we are facing and Claire was one of them. One thing that always struck me about Claire was her determination and tenacity. She read, researched and armed herself with the knowledge she needed to fight for the treatment that was best for her. She battled through periods of illness to run and completed a race not long after her first lot of chemotherapy finished. She was also incredibly warm - she always took the time to respond to the concerns and worries of others even though she was battling through tough times herself. I remember on my birthday she left me a fantastic message on my wall:

'Happy birthday!! You may feel like s**t, you may think you look like s**t... but you're gorgeous, this may not be the best birthday you've had but this time next year, hopefully you'll be sipping champagne amazed at how far you've come. Lots of love and hugs xxx'

It really made me smile and cheered me up when I was feeling particularly low. Claire always seemed to have the time and energy to try and pick others up when they were down, to offer advice and support - to be a friend. 

Claire was diagnosed in April of 2014 with triple negative breast cancer. She was still undergoing treatment when she fell ill with excruciating headaches in December and was admitted to hospital but scans and tests could give no definitive answers. However, her symptoms improved and she was allowed home. When her symptoms then worsened again, she was re-admitted to hospital and after further tests was told the cancer had spread to her spine and brain. She wrote a final blog post that you can read here. Although a positively heartbreaking read, her bravery and strength shines through.

Sadly, just days after this diagnosis, she passed away. The outpouring of love and sadness amongst members of the Younger Breast Cancer Network shows just how popular Claire was, how highly thought of she was and how much she will be missed.

True to her nature, in the gap where her symptoms improved she bought a treadmill and was determined to train to run a 10k race in May to raise money for Macmillan, even though her sight was failing. She won't get to run now but her £2000 target has been achieved almost twice over and I hope she got to know that before she went and that it made her smile. If you would like to make a donation to Macmillan in her honour, here is a link to Claire's Just Giving page.

My heart is heavy with sadness that we have lost such a bright, talented young woman to this vile disease. I think of her family, friends and partner and my heart aches. I feel like all the positivity has been sucked from my body and I'm not sure how to claw it back.

But as one of my friends from the network has said, we can honour Claire's memory by fighting as hard as we can, by raising money for worthy causes and raising awareness of breast cancer in younger women. By living each day to its fullest. So that's what I intend to do. I'm going to dig deep and find it within myself to keep battling against this disease as hard as that seems right now. I will draw strength from Claire's bravery and determination. I will try to cherish each moment and to appreciate life for the precious gift that it is.

Shine bright beautiful lady - the brightest star in the sky xxxx