A Tale of Two Titties - Part 1

Just a quick update from me. After what seems like FOREVER (OK - seven months) I'm finally due to have my expander implants exchanged for permanent, ones on Thursday, provided no trifling elements like antibiotic resistant superbugs get in the way.

The last appointment I had with my plastic surgeon was a few weeks ago when I discovered that my left expander had this time managed to completely flip over. Not content with doing a full 360 turn, it had now decided it preferred facing my rib cage than my pectoral muscle. Because it was also uncomfortable due to the metal port banging on my ribs, I was pushed up the waiting list. Every cloud and all that.

Although in theory this operation is more straightforward than previous ones, it's still major surgery and my surgeon has a bit of work to do to try and make me look like less of a car crash. They have been honest with me that it's very likely I'm going to need lipomodelling in future to try and even out the result and make it look more natural, so it won't be the last of the procedures I have. Lipomodelling is where they essentially remove the fat from one area of your body and inject it in to the breast/s to fill in any irregularities and improve the look of the reconstruction. If they can take it from my menopause belly, I'm definitely down for that.

The implants I have in at the moment are expanders - temporary implants that are filled with saline over a period of time to stretch the skin and muscle in preparation for the insertion of permanent implants, which look and feel more natural than expanders. The expanders look and feel pretty 'fake' and have magnetic metal ports on the top of them through which saline is injected:

My plastic surgeon has her work cut out a little bit to try and make my Frakentits look - well, less like Frankentits and more like something a bit more aesthetically pleasing. Boobs that kind of sit on my chest in the same place, rather than one up under my chin and the other round my waist (yes, I'm exaggerating) would be a good start.

The mis-match between my foobs has nothing to do with my plastic surgeon's skills (she's ace) but to do with with a number of other factors that couldn't really be avoided. One is that I have had radiotherapy on the right side - the cancer side - after my mastectomy and reconstruction. This has meant that the skin and muscle has contracted and become very tight. It literally does not move, no matter how much I jump up and down. Also, there was a large discrepancy between the volume of my right and left breast. When the tissue was weighed after each mastectomy, the left side (non-cancer side) weighed almost twice that of the right side. I guess I was already a little bit of a freak of nature before all this cancer business! The difference in the volume and also the fact that more skin had to be removed on the right side to get rid of the tumour means that the skin pockets that are holding my implants at the moment are very different sizes. There is a lot more room in the left side, which probably accounts for the implant's predilection for spinning and flipping over. 

There is basically very little they can do to fix the skin on the right hand side. The radiotherapy has created irreversible changes in the muscle and skin. The implant has literally been filled to almost breaking point. So the left side will have to be modelled as much as possible on the right hand side, which means removing some of the skin flap there to create a smaller pocket for the implant to go in.

It means I will potentially be left with tennis ball tits but on the flip side, I may save money on bras. That silver lining again right? One down side however is no matter how much weight I put on my boobs are not going to change size. Therefore, I'm going to have to keep a very strict eye on my diet and level of exercise. Marilyn Monroe may have been a size 16, as I get told very often (I'm not a size 16 by the way. Yet) but she didn't have scarred, wonky boobs and a crap hair cut either. Diet and exercise is my way of trying to control the collateral damage, as futile an attempt as it may be.

I am quite nervous about what the result is going to be. I've been waiting for this for so long - one of the final steps towards reclaiming and rebuilding my life.  I'm worried that they are going to be too uneven or small or scarred. As I said, earlier they have been honest with me that the result after this op may still need more work and further procedures. I'm trying to prepare myself and limit my expectations, but it's hard. This whole cancer malarky just feels like it's never ending. It's like running a race and seeing the finish line in the distance, but every time you start to near it, someone moves it further away. 

Anyway, this didn't turn out to be as short an update as I had imagined! Fingers crossed there are no hitches between now and Thursday and that it is a step towards looking less like a motorway pile up and more like a minor fender-bender instead. 

'it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...'

Ain't that the truth, Charlie!

October is over

Hopefully many of you will have taken the time to read the four featured posts from some brilliant women I know, all of whom are members of the Younger Breast Cancer Network.

 

October is now over (and with it 'breast cancer awareness month') but the need to hammer home the message that no one is too young to get breast cancer doesn't end when the pink washing does. You have heard from four fantastic ladies about lumps, bumps and wonky nipples and their treatment for breast cancer. If you take anything away from this (apart from how bloody brilliant these ladies are), please let it the importance of knowing your body and what is normal for you.

 

Make sure you check yourself regularly - and don't just focus on the boobies! Check your armpit areas and up to your collarbone. Take a few minutes next time you're in the shower or laid in bed. You may even want to ask someone to check for you as well  - just make sure its your other half and not some random bloke in the pub....

 

Your boobs may be squidgy, spongy or lumpy (no, these are not the long lost cousins of the seven dwarves.....) - just know what feels normal for you. Become best friends with your boobs ladies! Or 'breast' friends ......

 

Getting to know your boobs from nip to pit will help you to spot any changes. And you know from reading the stories of these four lovely ladies, this can be a variety of things including:

 

Lumpiness or thickening of the breast tissue.




Swelling in the armpit or round the collarbone (remember its not just the boobs!).




Nipple changes - both Sarah P and me had dodgy nips with our tumours - however, I could feel a lump as well, whereas Sarah couldn't. Nipples may become inverted or start to look a bit wonky. Mine started to drag inwards, with a crease through the skin (too much nip info??).


Constant pain in your breast or armpit - although we are regularly told pain isn't a sign of breast cancer, you know from reading both Laura's and Sarah M's stories that it can be.




Any dimpling or puckering of the skin.

 

More information about checking your boobs and what signs to look for can be found here.

 

Remember, if during your booby checking you find anything - ANYTHING - that concerns you or you aren't sure about see your GP as soon as possible. Do not be fobbed off and do not leave the surgery until you feel satisfied with your GP's response. Remember - no one is too young to get breast cancer and you do not need to have a family history. That said (and so I don't terrify everyone) most breast lumps and changes are not due to cancer. But, it can and does happen and the earlier it's found, the better the outcome in most cases.

 

So get tactile with those tits, handy with your hooters! One day it just might save your life.

Younger women with breast cancer - Sarah M's story

The last featured story on my blog as part of this year's Breast Cancer Awareness month is from Sarah M, aged 38:

'On 20th May, aged 38 I found a lump in my left breast , felt by my inner arm, through a padded bra as I was getting into the car.  I straight away touched it with my hand and knew this was something serious that required immediate attention. I panicked realising that since the beginning of 2014, possibly longer I had unintentionally ignored all the signs that this could indeed be breast cancer.

The first sign I had was tenderness in the breast. I had been cupping my breast as I ran up and down the stairs because the movement was making it hurt ( they are only small too, a humble 34B at a push ). I was also aware that for a long time I was repeatedly saying "mind my boobs " to my little boy as we cuddled up. With him on my left side, when he leant into it there was more tenderness than usual. I subconsciously put this down to hormonal changes in my menstrual cycle. I suffered intense itching  around my nipple on and off for ages , possibly as early as mid 2013. Having suffered with itchy skin all over my body since I was a teenager I thought no more of it other than itchy skin.

I had a dull ache for a few months in my left armpit. I put this down to the physical side of my job moving and positioning vulnerable (some very heavy) adults and assumed it was muscle strain.

In Nov. 2013 I completed a course with South Central Ambulance, part of which was using heart monitors. We measured our own heart rates and mine was particularly high. The paramedic training me advised I get this checked which I did. I was tested for diabetes , thyroid problems , blood pressure and a couple of other illnesses that I fail to remember. All tests came back clear, although I just felt something wasn't right with my body . I ached more than usual and tired a lot more easily than I ever had.

Mentally I found I was becoming increasingly short tempered, emotional and anxious ( this could explain the rapid heart rate). I felt something wasn't right, that a change was needed and the fact that my periods were becoming irregular I began to think, and even said to my husband Paul, that I was having an early menopause .

Then a couple of months before finding the lump , Paul came home and gave me a copy of The Sun Newspapers Check 'Em Tuesday guide. He asked me if I checked my boobs to which I flippantly replied " No, I am too scared too in case I find a lump", what a ridiculous comment to have made.  It did however prompt me to check and when I checked properly I did feel the lump there. Yet again I ignored it , comparing to my other breast I just put it down to hormones, how stupid am I.

The final sign, I will always believe was a sign from a higher state of consciousness telling me to sort myself out.  In the space of ten seconds I had three short sharp stabbing pains which I can only describe as somebody ramming a knitting needle down into my breast , behind the nipple and pointing straight to where the lump was.  ( Ladies reading, this is a sign of some types of breast cancer but not the cancer I had or so I am told ). It only happened in those 10 seconds, on that day and never happened again neither had it happened before. Two days later I found the lump.

I didn't phone the doctor straight away as I knew I would be seen the next day and I had an event at the children's school to attend. I wanted to be there for them both and certainly didn't want to have to explain my absence to them or anyone else for that matter.

Two days later I was seen by a female GP who confirmed there was a definite lump , that had been there sometime, which she thought was a cyst. She said she had known of hard cysts before and if it was cancer I would of been seriously ill by now. Rubbish!!!!   I don't know who she was trying to convince, me or herself but I knew this was not presenting as a cyst.  I was referred there and then to Wycombe Breast Clinic.

I went home and Googled every single benign breast condition and their symptoms, resulting in yet more self diagnosis that what I had was serious. I just knew it was cancer.

Two weeks later ( the governments policy for being seen after visiting the GP ) myself and Paul attended the clinic where I was given an ultra sound scan to both breasts , followed immediately by a core needle biopsy, (possibly the second worst experience of my life, chemotherapy coming first by miles!!). I was then seen by one of the doctors in the consultants team. She confirmed that the lump was indeed suspicious and regardless of the outcome from the biopsy I would require an operation to have it removed.

One week later, Thursday 12th June ,another trip to the clinic for the results. After a two and a half hour wait ( these places are pushed to the limit ) a breast care nurse  called us through to see the main man, the consultant heading the clinic, Mr Cunnick. I knew straight away that the top breast surgeon in South Bucks NHS trust ( yep I Googled him too ) was not about to tell me I had a cyst  or anything else benign.  I wasn't even sat down as I was more concerned for Paul, when Mr Cunnick bluntly informed me what I already knew. I had Breast Cancer, no sorry or unfortunately, just, it's cancer,  invasive ductal carcinoma, 8/8 oestrogen positive and receptive to Herceptin. He briefly examined me then explained he would be carrying out my operation. I asked  him to remove both breasts, in fact what I said was " just take the whole boob off and whilst you are at it take the other one as well" but he said it was totally unnecessary and that a lumpectomy would be ample and he would hopefully save my nipple as well. He told me it was not genetic although this is a test I will be fighting for as it must start somewhere.  I then had a mammogram to both breasts and underarm and Mr Cunnick gave the results straight away.  The right breast was clear and as far as he could see there was no lymph node involvement. He explained this was the best type of breast cancer I could have if there ever was a best type and that it was all fully treatable. He told me I would more than likely have chemotherapy, radiotherapy , Herceptin and ten years of Tamoxifen pills . Despite his bluntness and the fact he was telling me I had cancer I really liked him, I trusted him and loved how he knew his job so well.

Five weeks later I had my lumpectomy and a sentinel lymph node biopsy where radioactive dye is injected into the breast and travels to the lymph nodes showing any cancer cells present.  Unfortunately there was metastatic cancer cells in the first  lymph node which was removed along with the second.

After a further two week wait it was back to the clinic for my results. This time the wait was four hours. So at 7:30pm we were informed  all the tumour had been removed with clear margins and the next step would be to see an oncologist who would explain the further treatment required. I thought he could have saved a lot of time by telephoning me with the results.

 

I am now two weeks past my second lot of  FEC chemotherapy. I have a further four to endure. I will then have a month off and start radiotherapy every weekday for 4four and a half weeks at a hospital a fifty mile round trek from where I live. I will have Herceptin by infusion every three weeks at the chemo unit and Tamoxifen pills for 10 years.  It is the worst time of my life right now, but I have to stay positive and strong for my husband, children, family and friends, I am very aware that it is not just me this has affected . I feel lucky a lot of the time that it is not a whole lot worse. I feel sad that so many women a lot younger than me are suffering this .

My tumour had been there for six months.

Had I not ignored all the early signs or been more informed as to what they indicated maybe life would be different now and I would not be dealing with chemotherapy. Consequently had the lump not physically presented itself or indeed grown inward ..................well, I dread to think. That is why it is so important to check yourself regularly and act quickly if you notice any changes. Remember that no one is too young to get breast cancer.'

Younger Women with breast cancer - Laura's story

Today's featured story is from Laura, aged 32:


'It was smack bang between Christmas and New Year 2013 when I started getting a dull ache in my right boob; it wasn't constant or overly painful, just annoying! But everyone gets aches and pains every now and then don't they?! I had a quick feel and couldn't feel anything sinister so just got on with things.

But the ache gradually got more frequent and intense and just two weeks later, where I had initially felt nothing, a small pea had appeared. These things come and go though I thought, must be my time of the month. Two weeks later I noticed that a lot of prominent veins had appeared on my breast in the same area; I had a feel again and what was a pea had now grown to the size of a grape.....

Now if you google breast lumps, I would say that maybe 90% of websites state that cancerous lumps are NOT painful, and that if your lump is painful, it is likely to be a cyst or a fibroadenoma (a benign lump) - nothing to worry about then maybe I thought? I'm 31 so it's not likely to be cancer now is it! I booked an appointment with my Doctor though just in case.

On the day of my appointment, the Doctor confirmed that she too could feel a lump; but she also believed that as it was painful and as I was so young, it was not likely to be anything sinister. Either way she referred me straight to my local Breast Care Clinic so I could be checked out thoroughly. My referral letter came through and I had an appointment at the clinic exactly two weeks later. In those two weeks, what had felt like a grape, now felt like a grape with a pea next to it......

I'm lucky enough to have a 'One Stop Shop' Breast Care Clinic in my area, which basically means that they do all the tests in one place, on one day. I first saw a consultant who confirmed the presence of two lumps and referred me for an ultrasound. The radiologist again confirmed the presence of two lumps and noted a swollen lymph node in my armpit. Two core biopsies and one fine needle aspiration later, I was free to go and asked to return a week later.

I won't deny, the wait was pretty torturous! But I also somehow knew what the answer was going to be and was therefore able to prepare myself. When the day finally arrived and the diagnosis was confirmed, I was basically ready to 'take it on the chin' and just get on with it! You see, despite all this, I am an eternal optimist and pretty stubborn! This was not going to stop me!

My Diagnosis? A grade 3 (fast growing) Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (the grape) next to a benign fibroadenoma (the new pea) but luckily no lymph node involvement.

Through all my subsequent treatments (which has included a lumpectomy, removal of two lymph nodes, 6 cycles of chemotherapy, and finally a double mastectomy with reconstruction as a result of a BRCA1 gene fault diagnosis) I have continued to work, dated, been to gigs, had great times with friends and met some pretty inspiring people along the way. Cancer does not have to be a death sentence, nor does it mean you have to put your life on hold! What is important is to ensure you get to know your body, be breast aware and never assume! Although I caught mine early, I could have caught it even earlier if I hadn't have been so dismissive of my body telling me things!'

Younger women with breast cancer - Sarah P's story

The first personal story I am featuring on my blog as part of breast cancer awareness month is from my good friend, fellow feminist and tumour twin Sarah Perry, aged 33:


More of Sarah's wonderful scribblings can be found on her blog.


'There were two things that brought me to the Breast Care Clinic at Glenfield Hospital for an ultrasound scan on 18^th July 2014. A wonky nipple, and stubbornness.

 

I’d spent the last 18 months obsessing over cancer – and with good reason. On my mother’s side of my family, just looking at the women across 4 generations, this is what my family tree looked like:

·         My great grandmother – died of ovarian cancer in her 50s. Had one daughter...

·         My grandmother – diagnosed with breast cancer at 59, died at 66. Had one daughter...

·         My mother – diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer at 47, died at 53. Had one daughter...

·         Me.

It actually wasn’t until my mom died at the end of 2012 that I started to panic about this pattern of cancer. I only have a small family, so the numbers aren’t huge – three cases of breast/ovarian cancer across three generations. When you start reading information online about hereditary breast and ovarian cancer you’re told everywhere you look that most breast and ovarian cancers aren’t hereditary, breast cancer is so common in the UK (1 in 8 women) that many families will have multiple cases of breast cancer within a family and that doesn’t mean anything, and you need at least two close relatives to have been diagnosed with breast cancer (mother, daughter, sister) to be considered for genetic testing.

But when I sat and thought about it, I wasn’t reassured. It might only be three women in my family across three generations, but they were the only three women in those generations! And my mom was young at diagnosis. Plus the combination of breast and ovarian cancer was a red flag. So at the start of 2013 I went to my GP and made my case to be referred to the Family History Service.

 

To try and cut a long story short this is what happened: The Family History Service referred me to the Genetics Clinic who thought the pattern of cancer in my family was suggestive of a fault in either the BRCA1 or BRCA2 genes. I had a genetic test and got my result in April 2014. It was an “uninformative” negative. This means that no fault was found, but as no living relatives with cancer were available for testing, they didn’t know if this was because there was a BRCA fault in my family which I was lucky and did not inherit, or if the cancers in my family were caused by an as yet unknown genetic problem which I could have inherited.

 

However, I was told that while I would still be considered high risk, having no faults in my BRCA1 or BRCA2 genes was very, very good news – they were the most likely offenders in my family and the most dangerous genes when it came to risk of breast and ovarian cancer. I was told I should be happy! I should relax now!

Yeah well, I wasn’t happy and I didn’t relax. I’d done my research, and while both breast and ovarian cancer in a family suggests a possible problem with the BRCA1 or BRCA2 genes, the specifics of the cancers in my family (detail I won’t go in to here) didn’t fit the profile. I was convinced that the cancers in my family were hereditary, but caused by another genetic problem.

 

At this point I think the people around me started considering my cancer worry as a mental health problem rather than a physical health problem. Oh if I had a pound for every time someone (who didn’t really know what they were talking about) told me not to worry, that the test result was good news, and that I should just put it out of my mind I’d be a millionaire! (Ok maybe a slight exaggeration but I’d certainly have enough for a bloody good night out.)

 

But remember, I’m stubborn. I have a mind of my own, and when it’s set on something, I’m not easily swayed or fobbed off. And in this situation, this might just have saved my life.

In July 2014, just three months after my good news genetic test result, I noticed my left nipple looked kind of wonky. It was really subtle. I wasn’t even sure myself if it had just always been that way or not. But being the cancer-obsessed-panicker that I had become, two days later I was showing it to my GP. She wasn’t worried, if there was a change it was probably hormonal and she said she’d look again in a few weeks. I went away. I wasn’t happy. I am stubborn. I called back and insisted on an urgent referral for an ultrasound scan to check it.

 

And that’s how I ended up at the Breast Care Clinic on 18^th July for an ultrasound scan. A wonky nipple, and my own stubbornness. I had so many supposed reassurances – I definitely didn’t have a BRCA fault, I was only 33, the nipple change was subtle and no one could even feel a lump – but none of this mattered to me. I knew I was next on cancer’s hit list and I wasn’t going to ignore even the tiniest thing. The ultrasound scan which I was having for my own “peace of mind” (to shut me up) clearly showed a gnarly cancerous tumour. There was no mistaking it.

 

This was the one time in my life where I would have liked to have been wrong. I’d have liked nothing more than to have looked like a silly idiot that day, to have been over the top, to have to apologise for wasting people’s time. But (as always!) I was right. It’s a good job I was stubborn, it’s a good job I insisted on getting it checked right away. Time is everything when it comes to cancer. The earlier you catch it, the better.

 

If there were three things that I would want anyone who has read this far to take away from my experience they would be:

·         When it comes to your health, don’t ever, ever be fobbed off by anyone, including the doctors and experts. If there is something you are not happy with, or not sure about, get it checked. And if necessary, get it checked again, and again, and again, until you are satisfied. If you have a gut feeling about something, even if it doesn’t make sense or you can’t quite put your finger on it, you should listen to it and trust it.

·         Not all breast cancers are identified by a lump. Be aware of all the signs. Mine was a wonky nipple. My mom’s cancer was inflammatory breast cancer – signalled by changes to the skin. Know your own body well, know the signs well, be vigilant. Then if there are any changes caused by breast cancer, you’ll spot them early and probably save your own life.

·         Be aware of your family history of cancer. Don’t panic about it – most breast cancers really aren’t hereditary. I’m in an unlucky minority. But it’s sensible to be aware of any cancers in your family, so that if a pattern does emerge, you can let your GP know and take it from there.

Anyway, if you’re interested in any more of my own story, I’m blogging over at hbocuninformed.blogspot.com. I’m writing about hereditary breast and ovarian cancer, and my own experiences since a cancer diagnosis. If you have any questions about hereditary breast and ovarian cancer please contact me via my blog, I’ll be happy to try and help if I can.'

Breast cancer and all that jazz

For the rest of October, as my contribution to breast cancer awareness month, I will be featuring a number of stories about diagnosis and treatment from younger women with breast cancer on my blog, written in their own words.

Before I do this, I wanted to write a post containing information about breast cancer that you may not be aware of. I’ll mostly be using information taken from sites such as Breast Cancer Care, with a smattering of information about my own personal situation.

Contrary to popular opinion, breast cancer isn’t just ‘one thing’. It’s a complex beast and there are a number of different types. I won’t go in to this in too much detail now but if you wanted to find out more about the different types of breast cancer you can find this here. Because all breast cancers are different, people have different treatments depending on what will work best for them.

Some facts about breast cancer (taken from the Breast Cancer Care website):

• The lifetime risk of developing breast cancer is 1 in 8 in women

This means that 1 in 8 women in the UK will develop breast cancer in their lifetime– it also means that 7 out of 8 women won’t develop breast cancer.

• Estimated risk of developing breast cancer according to age

Risk up to age 29, 1 in 2,000.

Risk up to age 39, 1 in 215.

Risk up to age 49, 1 in 50.

Risk up to age 59, 1 in 22.

Risk up to age 69, 1 in 13.

Lifetime risk, 1 in 8.

• Both women and men get breast cancer

Although it is much rarer than in women, men can get breast cancer too. Every year about 400 men are diagnosed in the UK.

• Older people are more likely to get breast cancer than younger people

After gender (being female), age is the strongest risk factor for developing breast cancer – the older the person, the higher the risk. Around 81% of breast cancers occur in women over the age of 50.

• Most cases of breast cancer don’t run in the family. Most cases of breast cancer happen by chance. Only around 5% of breast cancers are caused by inheriting an altered (faulty) gene.
• 
  
• Breast cancer can affect any woman, regardless of the size of their breasts (trust me mine are very modest!).
• 
  
• Finding a lump in your breast doesn’t mean you have breast cancer. There are several benign (not cancer) conditions that can occur in the breast and may cause a lump. Also many women will experience lumpy breasts just before their period. This is a normal response to changing hormones and often the lump or lumpiness disappears after the period. However, if this doesn’t go away, it’s important to get it checked out by a doctor. Any new lump should always be assessed by a doctor.

Even though breast cancer is more common in older women it can and does happen to younger women! Please check regularly and visit your doctor with any changes or lumps. And never be fobbed off. If you are unhappy push for a referral to a breast clinic.

Please click here for information about what breast changes look and feel like.

Breast cancer can be oestrogen receptive or not, HER2 positive or negative or triple negative. If a breast cancer is oestrogen receptive, simplistically it means that oestrogen is making it grow. My tumour is as strongly oestrogen receptive as you can get. This means the little bastard is doing the happy dance on the stuff. 

However, this is apparently a good thing as because they know what’s making it grow, they can use drugs to try and stop it coming back.

Tamoxifen (or Tamoxibollocks as its affectionately known) is a drug that they give women who have had oestrogen receptive breast cancer. Sometimes it is given to women with an increased risk of breast cancer as a preventative measure. Tamoxifen is usually given for five years after active treatment (chemo, surgery, radiotherapy) for oestrogen receptive breast cancer has finished. However, studies are now showing that ten years may be the more effective treatment strategy. I’ll be having Tamoxifen to try and reduce my risk of recurrence.  Because breast cancer can come back. Unlike some cancers, the term ‘cured’ is not used with breast cancer. It can return – either as a local, regional or distant recurrence. Most people do not have a recurrence, however it can and does happen.

So there are measures that you can take to try and prevent this happening. Tamoxifen is one. On the whole I am happy about this, but there are things that I find a little difficult to deal with. The first one is that you can’t get pregnant on Tamoxifen due to the risk of damage to the foetus. So ten years would take me to the age of 43 - fertility is not at its peak by this point. That’s if the chemotherapy hasn’t fried my ovaries first. But, for me I think I’d be terrified to get pregnant even if it were possible. All that oestrogen flying around. Would be like bloody Christmas for breast cancer. So, children more than likely out the window for me. Not literally obviously. I don’t go around throwing children out of windows…

Anyway, Tamoxifen also has some lovely side effects, mainly in the way of menopausal symptoms such as hot flushes, weight gain and osteoporosis. Delightful.

Surgery

On to surgery. As I have one node involved I will need to have a full axillary node clearance. This means taking out all the lymph nodes from under my arm pit and possibly the right side of my chest. Cutting through layers of muscle and nerves. Not pretty. I’m still in pain from having four nodes out so having around 20 removed doesn’t bear thinking about. It also leaves me at risk of lymphoedema – a permanent, painful and sometimes disfiguring condition which can involve having a very swollen arm.

I’m having chemotherapy first to try and shrink the tumour as the surgeons want to do a lumpectomy rather than a mastectomy. If they took it out now it would leave me quite disfigured as I’m definitely not Kelly Brook in the boob department. I think the words my consultant used were ‘quite small breasts’…

Chemotherapy is usually a given if you are a young woman with breast cancer. They want to try and give you the best chance possible to live a long and happy life essentially. The main purposes of chemo are to try and blast any other stray cancer cells that may have done a runner from the original tumour and be floating around the body and also to try and reduce the risk of recurrence.  Chemo is nasty and makes you feel like shit, but I’m happy to lay back and take all the NHS has got to try and give this thing an almighty battering.

When they perform a lumpectomy they need to get what is called ‘clear margins’. This means that when tested, there are no stray cancer cells in any of the healthy tissue that has been removed with the lump. If there is, it can mean another lumpectomy. And if this then fails again, a possible mastectomy. So, not as straight forward as whipping the bugger out and stitching it up!

Breast reconstruction

A mastectomy means removing all the breast tissue. Essentially taking the whole boob off. I wanted to clear a few things up about mastectomies and reconstruction. Breast reconstruction after a mastectomy is not like having a boob job. You do not just get a ‘new boob’ Pamela Anderson style. Reconstruction is a lot more complicated than that. I’m not an expert but here is my limited knowledge about breast reconstruction:

One method of recon is to build a new boob from tummy fat. This wouldn’t be an option for me as I don’t have enough. Reckon they would be able to build about a nipple from mine

Another is an implant. However, if radiotherapy is required, an implant can’t be inserted at the same time as the mastectomy as the radiotherapy is likely to damage the reconstruction. In this case, something called tissue expander can be used. This involves inserting an empty implant which is gradually over a period of time filled with saline. This essentially stretches the skin and tissue so that an implant can be fitted at a later date. But then this means another lot of surgery later down the line. And obviously no feeling or sensation in that boob.

Or you can just go flat and wear your battle scars with pride.

There is also an operation that involves taking tissue and muscle from your back and reconstructing breasts from that. My friend Sarah, who will be having a double mastectomy and this op due to a gene fault, described it like this:

'They take muscle and tissue from your back. I think this is what I'm having. It's basically swung round from your back to front. So boob removed at front chunk taken from back, swung round to front and stitched in to the gap, and hole in back sewn together. Lovely!  

There are other options and I’ve definitely explained reconstruction very simplistically - its much more complicated than this, but as you can see, definitely not a boob job!

So there we have it. Some breast cancer facts and information. Please do click on the links I have put in this post to find out more as I am definitely no medic and no expert! i hope you have found this whistle stop tour through the land of breast cancer informative - please stop by again soon! 

Breast cancer awareness month malarkey.....

As many of you may know, October is breast cancer awareness month. Cue the saturation of the world with all things pink for four weeks.  But for what purpose? I mean, everyone knows about breast cancer right? It’s the most common cancer in the UK. Around 55,000 people are diagnosed with breast cancer each year. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their life time. The openness and honestly of celebrities like Kylie Minogue have ensured that breast cancer has appeared on the public’s antennae and stayed there.

I know that breast cancer awareness month provides excellent opportunities for charities to raise awareness about their services, to increase donations, gather support for campaigning work and to reach out to those who may be in need and I fully support that. I can’t help feel however, that sometimes the real, important messages about breast cancer get lost in the plethora of pink and tits. The amount of times I've heard 'well, its not that big a deal now a days is it?' scares me. And breast cancer is often sexualised like no other cancer – I refer to The Sun's Check 'Em Tuesday and the Playboy Club London's #bunniesinpink as examples.  I don’t even want to think about the photo of the ‘save second base’ t-shirt I recently saw on Twitter…

So, in the midst of all things pink, I want to provide you with some information and facts about breast cancer, some taken from brilliant websites like Breast Cancer Care and Cancer Research UK but also personal, from the heart stories. I want you to hear from young women who have been personally affected by breast cancer – about the signs they spotted, how they were diagnosed and their treatment.  I want to raise awareness that no one is too young to get breast cancer and that every young woman should be vigilant regarding any changes to her body.  I want you to hear from the heart what it means to be diagnosed with this disease and the effect that it has on your life. How all of a sudden you are plunged in to a whirlwind of tests, scans, results, hospital appointments and gruelling treatment that leaves you feeling like you no longer recognise yourself anymore and that the person you once were has been lost forever.  That breast cancer is not all ribbons, fluffy teddies and pink tea towels. 

But I also want you to share in the pride and awe that I feel regarding my wonderful friends from the Younger Breast Cancer Network. Many of these women I have never met in person but yet every day I know they are just a keyboard away, willing to take the time to respond to any fears, concerns or rants despite battling through diagnosis, treatment and the aftermath of breast cancer themselves.

So, during the month of October, as my contribution to breast cancer awareness month, I will be featuring a number of personal stories written by some of these wonderful women on my blog. I hope you find them as bloody fantastic as I do.